Domestic Violence: Ondo Woman Shares Experience, Urges Women To Speak Up
Most women in Nigeria are reluctant to report cases of domestic violence to the police, rather, they resort to seeking help from family heads, community heads, family friends, neighbors and friends and as such, most cases are swept under the carpet thus, cases of death keeps rising from such violence.
The truth is that such women cannot be completely blamed for their acts as the cultural practices, custom and tradition of the land stigmatizes such an act and in cases where reports are made, the police tends to trivialize the case. These among others contribute to the reasons why abused women hide away and suffer in silence.
A recent case in mind is that of Ologunola Mary Abosede, a 33years old woman who got married to Sunday Agagu just like any other woman with hopes of a blissful marriage. She had her hopes dashed when issues of mistrust kept cropping up in the marriage.
‘The situation was getting out of hand and I had to tell myself the truth – whether to sit still and watch myself die because of a relationship that is not working from a man who doesn’t have respect for my family; doesn’t want to see me with anybody; a man who, beats me up at will and calls me all sorts of name all in the name of marriage?
The marriage relationship recently came to an end in June 2018 with 2 children because she discovered she could no longer bear the hit.
I had to run at an occasion when he took me to one herbalist house unknown to me, but as soon as I realised it may be for ritual purpose, I ran away and hid in the church for 2weeks and from there to another town so that he would not be able to catch up with me. When he could not track me down, he burnt all my clothes and my certificates and since he was now the one that had custody of my children, he began to maltreat them with the help of his new wife.
I heard reports and when I could not bear it, I had to go back to my hometown and I summoned courage to report him at the police station. My kids were taken to Children’s Welfare Department and at the end of the day, I was granted custody of my children”, she recounts saying women must learn to speak up or die helplessly in the name of love.
“I still carry a scratch on my lap, he wounded me. He also threatened to kill me anywhere or wherever he finds me. I was living in palpable fear and in hell”, she further stressed.
She added that, her husband wanted to kill her during the burial of her mother in 2017.
According to her,” my husband nearly killed me during the burial ceremony of my mother in 2017, to the extent that he tore my clothes and naked me in the public. He has been looking for me with a promise to kill me anywhere he finds me in Nigeria. I have to relocate from Akure, where we are staying together to Ibadan. Yet, he his still looking for me. When the threatening was too much, I had to move to a hidden place in Lagos. After some months, I didn’t know how he found out that I was hiding in Lagos. But he still threatened to kill me whenever he see me.” She said
While also caling for enabling laws that would make it easy to bring men to justice for domestic aggression, Ologunola Abosede said it will go a long way in bringing violators to face the wrath of the law.
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